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[Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash]

Funny thing about Firsts: there ‘s a looming hope toward a fabulous outcome, but there’s no real evidence that success will arrive dressed and ready for dinner.

My first little publication was sold door-to-door when I was ten, and Charlie was eleven. We were lucky enough to have an old typewriter, a busy neighborhood complete with dogpiles, bloody noses, and the biggest bike ramps we could build with a pile of plywood and a few cinder blocks stolen from the construction site nearby. Full of great ambition, we sat one afternoon and typed everything we knew about our block, our world. Two pages later, we had our first and final copy of the Neighborhood News.

Life moved on: First kiss, first dance, first hangover, first police roundup, first community service, you get the idea.

Monumental events always got me running for my typewriter, my laptop, to get the story down, to pass it on.  My first real love, first pregnancy, first child. Then I’d think, how ridiculously awkward and silly for me to think that my story has any real value, any true right to be put out into the world.

Seasons turned, I started my own company with a fabulous friend, my husband joined a rock band, we hosted dance parties and martini blitzes, and I was ready to tell the world all that I’d accomplished in my 30-something years.  But before I could get the story down, my company had grown recklessly unprofitable, my marriage began to collapse; I entered the world of divorce, depression, and financial devastation. That same year, a dear friend lost her nineteen year-old son, and another close friend lost her brother to leukemia. That’s a lot of drama in one little paragraph. Life is hard.

The thing is, there’s no perfect day to start telling your story. The story just keeps unraveling, written and re-written as the days progress.

So this year I decided it was time to start passing it on. I hope you find a bit of solidarity, a small connection, a moment of laughter in the midst of everything pressing in. I hope you leave each post feeling a bit lighter, more inspired and encouraged to reach for all that you are designed to become in this crazy thing called life.

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